For the first 24 years 11 months and 13 days of my grand existence I did not own a sweater. No yo. Sudden. Four days later I owned four keep-me-warms.
The climate of my birth-and-growth geographical area did not deem it necessary for residents in its purview to possess one of these 'infernal' things. Human wearing sweater in that region would invoke a 'bahut daring tha' quote a la Munnabhai. Only if you wanted to feel the insides of a pressure cooker via your chest would you indulge. Flesh-cooking. Socially ostracizing move it be. My territory had three seasons. Hot, Very hot and pouring-cats-and-dogs. For the last of these three weather moodinesses we were armed with raincoats, umbrellas and a prayer to the Almighty. No sweater in that list. In the summer, even shirts would be a luxury. Simply to cover the unsavory nature of one's upper body. In the interest of the public's health and all that.
Take this 'ahem' young man and throw him to the vagaries of the cold. Merciless. Brrrr. That which would freeze your hands and cause you to forget your nose. So boy goes to mall in same cold and buys sweaters.
I felt equipped. Repertoire reload. Knight-in-woolly-armor.
So what does a sweater do? Other than hope to keep you warm of course.
1) It covers your much wrinkled shirts. Sell your iron on ebay and make cash.
2) It gives you an identity. "There goes red sweater with white stripes" , "I'm meeting blue and green sweater for coffee", "That beige sweater has some attitude!"
3) A walking power plant. Take it off to hear the sweet sound of electricity. Global power problem solved. Next worldly catastrophe please.
Million more. But. Why me? You list. Sweat it out. Best entry. Prize. Half a chocolate-chip cookie.
Acknowledgment: Prizzle of course. He of the talent of a thousand sweaters.
Word love: portmanteau - a new word formed by joining two others and combining their meanings; "`smog' is a blend of `smoke' and `fog'"; "`motel' is a portmanteau word made by combining `motor' and `hotel'"; "`brunch' is a well-known portmanteau"
Wait now. Stop. If you have no sweater gyaan. Create. A portmanteau. Never before seen in this universe or the next. Prize? Other half of course.
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
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