Letter to my brother.

Dear Ahad,

I know you would have wanted me to write you this letter. I want to believe that you will read this from somewhere. A better place.

I remember vividly the first time we met. You were a freshie in KMC and you were standing at the basketball court in Attavar. I gave you the infamous Thota-to-freshie smirk (that is what you called it). You never failed to remind me many times of that moment in the years later as our friendship grew. We were brothers. We are brothers.

There are so many stories of our college days. Going to Manjarun in the middle of the night looking for sandwiches, riding a bike to Bombay Lucky to see if it was time for a fresh batch of biryani, going to Taneer Bhavi beach and just talking KMC politics. So many stories. So many memories.

Remember the time you were magazine editor. Who can forget. There was no money to publish a college magazine that year. But you said we can't let that happen to our college. You said we cannot stand and watch a year go by with no magazine for the students of KMC. You reached out to the local community and found the money to bring out a phenomenal magazine. A magazine people still use as a parameter for excellence. I was so proud of you that day.

Remember our long trip from Chicago to Atlanta? Talking about India, about family, about medicine and just about stuff. We were gonna be at the SuperBowl in 2012. Name each other's kids. Go to California and learn to surf. Go back to Kerala and re-live that legendary trip from 2002. So, many things, man.

Always positive. Always cheerful. Always emanating warmth. Never one to sulk. Wherever you went you made friends. People wanted to be around you just to feed off your good cheer and optimism.More than anything you listened. You cared to remember what someone said to you. And, you always frank with me and told me straight what you thought of my numerous ridiculous assumptions and theories. "Crrrrazyyy man, Thotaaaa!!!"

I grasp for some semblance of meaning of you not being here. I try to quell the anger, the helplessness of it all. But, I will cherish the happiness you gave me and so many others. Channel all this raw emotion into something productive. I know that's how you would want me to be. I will try very hard. I will always remember you like yesterday. Always close. Always smiling.

Cliched as it may sound (and I can imagine you rolling your eyes), they sure threw away the mould after they made you. A diamond that shone its brilliance, its kindness, its undiluted affection, its unconditional love on humanity. Thank you for you being you. I know wherever you are, you've made it a better place.

Dum spiro, spero. While I breathe, I hope.

I love you, man.

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