SIFS = Shopping Induced Fugue State syndrome
Shopping = what should have been the eighth deadly sin
Fugue = A pathological amnesiac condition during which one is apparently conscious of one's actions but has no recollection of them after returning to a normal state. This condition, usually resulting from severe mental stress, may persist for as long as several months.
I am a SLOB. Slow. Lazy. Obnoxious. Boy. Activity ain't my cuppa. Shopping (brrr) is activity. Work. Tedium. How can I like it? If it ended at likes and not-likes, fine. But no. Pathological it be. Fear-evoking.
I wanted stuff for a long trip. Had to end my shopping-celibacy. Lose the peace. Driven by mom. Walked (pushed) into sophisticated store. Salesman made clear his contempt for current attire. Stuck my tongue out at him. When he wasn't looking of course. Coward me be. Rubber-spine. Braced myself for worst. Worst it was.
Six hours and a buffet lunch later. There I was. Not tired. Not pooped. Not fatigued. But fugued. Zombie. No idea what just happened. Not a flicker of recollection. Maybe locked away in some deep dark recess of my brain. Pray the key is lost. Non-findable (liberties with the Queen's language).
As I slowly recover from the horrors of that fateful day, flashes manifest of what transpired. Standard wake-up-in-cold-sweats routine every night. I was their prey. Meat. They(salespeople of course) pounced. Sank claws,talons,fangs,teeth. I squealed. They didn't care. Italian threads with German technology. Latesht. Never seen before in these sh(t)ores . Monkeys 'r us. Me specifically.
How do eves do it? Ever so often. Wow. Applause. Should be a fascinating scientific paper. Really should. To all possessors of the Y chromosome. My sympathies. Undying support even. Go bravely. Fight. *Gulp* at thought.
9 comments:
If you need shopping lessons slowpoke ..just ask ! What great lengths u go to ..baah !
And wholeheartedly agree with 'my sympathies with all possessors of Y chromosome' .You said it ;)
~ v
The great Y chromosome confers on us eves some special powers which include the power to haggle & bargain, sense sales and discounts, and carry shopping bags weighing more than ourselves. :)
Reshma
hahaha
dont know wot it is, but i cant stand shopping either
hehe
so i understand!
ambi
sad..sad very sad...i can write an antiblog to this...shopping is the besttttt leisure activity..if u have the cash..its such a high...like eating a chocolate..only the goodie effect lasts much longer.good blog thou!!! 10/10.u shud come for shopping with me.i'll get u the best bargain in the country for exactly whatever u want,in ur fav colour.i mean wow...shopping..in fact i'm gonna go shopping right now to support it! yipee!
Amen, Amen, Amen.
You know whats worse? Going along with a woman (why, yu ask) who tries on everything in sight and walks out without buying a thing and telling the salesman ''what? 500 bucks? I can get this at Sarojininagar Market in Delhi for like a hundred' ....
*shudders @ memories*
@Riggster.. Hit nail on discounted head. The award however goes to buying the first thing she saw after touring 1000 shops. Oh the woe!
@Shopping eves.. I have no response. I'm still recovering from SIFS. Not risking no relapse.
@riggster and thots
so true....
I dont mind shopping once in a few years to get bare essentials replaced... that too sneak into a store pick up the first thing i see(avoid any conversation with sales saff who try their best to embarrassing you into buying more then you need) and run out, almost like shoplifting, except that i pay :(
But nothing beats shopping with a woman, jezus H christ...
the worst is when the shop for lingerie:( you hang around the stores not knowing where to look...
totally in agreement with shveta...
shoppin is therapeutic...
shopping releases serotonin...
shhopping is bliss...
ahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!
shopping is orgasmic...lol
(nw u knw,to wot xtent i cn go to describe the pleasure of shoppin...)
u cn say...shoppin is pleasure with pain ;-)...
pleasure for eve n pain for adam..
lol..
cheers,
Kashunut
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