Things you need to know before proceeding
Ajji = old lady,grandma
Bujji = crushed,smashed - for this piece it is considered an english word and thus used in various forms like any self-respecting english word eg: bujjified, bujjifying, bujjied
Kere = snake of the rat..he he he...ratsnake i.e. snake that limits rat population
ABK = the phenomenon that was a vital part of my primary school days
It was PT period (you know...1-2-3-4 drill...the melee for the deflated footy). Little Ramu(say) went to retrieve ball from near gutter. Unbeknownst to this math-fearing, teacher-respecting, mugging-specialist there is some spillover from gutter content. Nothing mutagenic (i.e. can be washed off with apna dettol). But, its there. Ramu in his haste to pouch ball steps on yucky matter.Looks at his hawaii chappal in dismay. Tries to cover/wipeoff damage. Too late. Sham, yes, the one with the baritone voice witnesseth. Screams. AJJIBUJJIKERE rents the air.Horrifying. Ramu's spirit crumbles. Can he make it to the next tap? Can he make it in life? Ramu turns around. The till-now crowded PT field looks like the school library. Empty. Everyone has scooted. Saving themselves. Their souls. Their dignity.
But Ramu being a creature who hasn't yet encountered an entrance exam doesn't give in easy. He hunts. Like a tiger after a seven-day crash diet. Hungry. Eager. Vengeful. Finds little Frida. Cowering in fear. Attempting to hide behind the trunk of a tree. ABK he yells. More with relief. But wait a minute. What does little Frida have? Clutched in her left hand. A leaf! GREEN!! GREEN!! She dangles the savior with nonchalant ease. Ramu is crushed again. He sets off again. He must find non-green-possessing child to transfer this ABK. He must.
Well, whatever happened to Ramu I'm not sure but ABK was the phenomenon that ruled my limited-vision world as a primary school attendee. It was like the sword of Damocles that hung over our tender necks. We never knew who would be next? When would be next? Where would be next? Haunting.
Legend says (atleast the legend I have coffee with every tuesday) that ABK originated in the early 1700s. The story goes thus (if anyone disagrees then I will do karate for you).
There was this old lady. You know the type.Late 60s. Active. Kind-hearted. Betel-nut chewing.Jasmine flowers in oiled hair. On her way to the village fair. Spring in arthritic step. Folk song in heart. As she was walking, she felt that uncomfy squishy feeling under her left foot, only to look down in dismay to see a kere(ratsnake-remember) writhing in pain due to her bujjifying left foot. Hissing the choicest kere abuses he slithered away into the bushes to nurse his bujjified body back to its rat-hunting best (relax, nobody dies in my stories). This incident was observed by the Kere Gods. They obviously weren't too happy(Kere population figures were at an all-time low and acts like these certainly wouldn't help). Curse they hissed. Curse. But, wait one minute. Ajji was draped in a parrot- green saree (sent by son in phoreen). Gods were in dilemma now. Why you may wonder? Green was their patron color. Green was their gold. They couldn't punish granny now. A Kere law was passed. AJJIBUJJIKERE for any yucky steppings from now on. Possessing green will give immunity. However, an ABK individual can pass it on to some other unsuspecting non-green soul and rid himself/herself of the ABK tag. Thus, a hex was born. To terrorize thousands of school children in the years to come.
There are other fables (not true) about the origin of ABK by other 'experts' in this field. However, efforts are on to initiate a PhD position in ABK studies. One only hopes the truth (see above) will be established soon.
Acknowledgements:
Wah-Duuh girl
Choop Suri
Sujju Baba
Stanny my boy
I promise to share TV and film rights with you guys
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
10 comments:
good read(jus bein nice2ya)... bt y do this2me on sunday morn yaa????? its monday material...after monday mornin blues,this shud cmplte the day....
cheers,
Kashunut
'Arundathi Roy' in the making.
:)
aila!
ajjibujjikere(you should have specified how it bees pronounced!) the very vord, i say!!!
i have gone so far now as to bookmark your blag, so you have to, have to, post regularly, intead of these sporadic treats!
:)
Hehe.Fabulously written mon.
Waiting for more.
da thendi... you actually wrote something funny!(and thus i lose my partner in crime... thrusting sad humour down the throats of our unsuspecting friends)
up here in maharashtra we had.."SHENN"
('she' as in shave) sadly we had no immunity, green, in the shiv sena era i grew up, was not a happy colour...
Bjorn..I know I promised i will comment yesterday but I was busy researching on the chennai version of ABK :-)Well here we call it 'Cheetangol' and crossing the middle finger over the index finger gives immunity :-)Somethings are pretty universal I guess be it hyderabad,mumbai or chennai. Loved the ABK phenomenon by the way..took me back right to my school days and thats one place I love to be in..
Yamini
LOL. Stumbled across your blog at 4:30 a.m and am reading it (and not sleeping). Will read more at a saner time. Krishna tells me you are gonna be in america soon (and bluddy close at that). Will catch up. Take my number - 804 317 1652
Karthik
As you doubtless know I didnt get a word of it ![May I take a moment here and call you a scheming old-school votebank-monger..for lack of a better insult for the day]
But facts are facts and they are thus: Its a Riot ! I loved it :))
~V
PS:- Do you really need the word verification here ? Its a pain .I doubt you are being flooded by anonymous posts.I mean the anons you get dont really qualify.You know perfectly well who they are.. after they tell you ofcourse ;)
on request of anonymous...word verification has been struck down with force...
lol...thanx .there is hope for you yet :)
~vinonymous
Post a Comment